Too much stress can create trauma, which prevents us from learning and moving forward. However, there is an optimal amount of stress or struggle that produces productive results. This is where resilience begins and then gains momentum. Our children can learn from our mistakes too, but we shouldn't try to shield them from making their own mistakes. My colleague, David Meltzer, urges us to learn from our mistakes so we don't continue paying a "dummy tax". This is not to say, we can't pass on our wisdom to our children.
Wanting to remove painful obstacles is a natural response by parents yet, in doing so, we are depriving them of learning and growing from their struggles. This is where we try to remove all obstacles from our children's paths so they don't suffer any pain or discomfort. Are you a snow plow parent?Īs parents, we may intellectually understand this concept, but sometimes we are tempted to act as " snow plows" for our children. This unleashes opportunities for creativity and motivation. You may wonder why this happened and what you need to do to get snow boots or a vehicle. The struggle will be an incentive to figure out a better way.
If you have to walk through the snow, barefoot, you can choose to react with anger and sadness at your plight or you can try to change it. When we face difficulties, we can use those challenges to learn and grow. Related Article: Ten ways successful people push through adversity said, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." It speaks to the circularity of life (do you hear Lion King in your head when you read that?) My point is not to debate whether life is circular or linear, but simply that struggle and hardship can create opportunities for growth.
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